As I said in On Music, I’ve never had much connection to it, never really gotten that much out of it. A mix of conversations that followed this, as well as new experiences (primarily, having been able to feel the music and then being able to dance1) made me want to see whether I can get into music. Whether with some dedication I’ll be able to get more out of it.
And importantly, to find enough pieces that I actually enjoy, that mean something to me, that move me. To build a collection. So far, I have only a low single digit number, which means I can only rarely listen to them to not burn through and get sick of them, have them loose all their spark. I’ve previously tried using spotify, but I have too few songs I know I at least just like, as that it can recommend me things, which means it defaults to trying to suggest me things I hate and no matter how much I told it not to recommend me more of those, it kept going until I gave up.
The Plan
- get spotify premium whilst I still have student discount options
- get playlists from friends and work my way through those
- favorite anything that’s somewhat positive
- add things I particularly like to a new playlist
- “Go to Song Radio” for each of those
- iterate through those lists until I have a collection that I really like to listen to
- go though the Discover Weekly each week and use favoriting and disliking a bunch to get the algorhythm enough data to actually start working
- substitute audiobook time w music time; have this be a goal so I want to work towards it
The Motivation
I’m on my path of Exploration & Discovery, which both entails expanding my comfort zone into new areas, but also to make new experiences, to discover more things I like, to build out my ~humanity. I don’t feel like I’ve had much of a life before, at least only a hollow one. Now I want to experience things, and music seems to be meaningful to so many.
The Concerns
Working on smth that might result in me attaining a new need that wants to be tended to feels… weird
On the one hand, if I can learn to like music, to get much out of it, then this seems good. But I do also like either sitting in silence w my thoughts and wander through mental landscapes, or to listen to audiobooks, articles, podcasts.
I have always had few distracting apps on my phone, no games, no social media, youtube deactivated, etc. and reddit is set to 5 mins per day bc I don’t want that the easiest thing for me to do when I’m bored or feel negative things of some kind to be to open a distractor and browse, swipe, tab. I want my environment to serve me, to facilitate things I want on a higher level.
My concern here is that by being able to appreciate music, by getting more out of it, by liking it more, I will gravitate towards listening to songs over self-reflection, pondering, listening to books and podcasts. Afraid that I discover the fast-food of music and things-to-listen-to, rather than what nourishes me, makes me better. That my in-the-moment desires for fast-fooding music that is mildly pleasant but nevertheless empty and distracting, will take away from doing things I prefer on a higher level.