February

Similarly to last month, looking at how last month went feels strange. So many cool, great, interesting, fun, important things happened, that things I’ve done in the first half of Feb feel like it must’ve been ages ago.

Transition

The goal is to make progress in my transition, to try new things and find out what I like and want to get out of the transition. How I want to present myself to the world and to myself.

• Came out to a handful more people from before and changed my display name on Telegram
• Being out to new people doesn’t really feel all that special anymore, so even though this happened a bunch last month, it just feels normal now! :)
• Tried on new clothes and went thrift shopping in a Parisian street where every other business is a thrift store
• Dyed my hair a little
• Started wearing more accessories (mainly the wristband I’ve made at burnhalla)

Social Goals

The goal is to make new connections and deepen those I gained, to be more social, to discover what kinds of people I enjoy being around, to work on social anxiety and related issues.

• Finished listening to Polysecure
• Went to a post-burnhalla meetup and met new people
• Met many new people in Paris and got closer to those I’ve met last time
  • Partially at a very fun house party!
    → I’m pretty sure I’ve made more close and meaningful connections in Dec-Feb than in the past 2 years!

Career & Impact

The goal is to gain further experience in operations (Ops) work, to find out whether this really is one of the best fields I can work in, to finally find out after many years whether I can actually, reasonably contribute to AI Safety or not. To have a positive impact on the universe’s future, and to have resources.

• Had an interview for Operations Lead at Scaling Altruism (of AIS Hungary), submitted a first work sample and got to round 3 for a 2nd, now paid work sample
• Started and finished ENAIS Collab course
  • I learned quite a few new things, mostly during weeks 3 and 4
  • managed to contribute quite a bit, which I’m happy about
  • Talked w ppl that work on the AIS Atlas and was able to provide feedback that improved the product
• Worked with EA Germany and a Kiez Burn organizer

Health, Self, and Wellbeing

The goal is to work on myself and identify my inner issues, to realign or minimize them and the impact they have on me. To actualize more of who I am, to find out who I want to be, but also to life a live I enjoy and to avoid burning out again, and to maintain or increase METs as those are crucial for this and all the other goals.

• Went to Paris again and made lots of progress on inner issues around comfort w being seen, vulnerability, sexuality, and the bad mind-states and triggers that established themselves during depression
  • cuddle puddles, closeness, vulnerable conversations, etc.
  • getting dressed up for a kink-themed party at a queer bar
    • I was quite apprehensive about this one at first since I had no idea what to expect, but it was a really good, fun, and varied experience!
    • Got to dance for quite a while and received pointers from a friend
    • Also played Mario Kart w her and some strangers, which was a good respite in between dancing sessions
    • The day overall was probably one of my top 20 days so far!
• Also upgraded the banners and logos here, which makes this page even more enjoyable to me!
• Watched KPop Demon Hunters, which became a new favorite movie for me
• Watched the Bay Area Secular Solstice, which was really great! Would like to be there for a future one!
• Booked and started a sports course that GP recommended to reduce my neck issues

Exploration and Discovery

This is the arc for this year. I want to explore and discover more about myself. The other goals all serve this one to some extend and have this aim woven into them. Yet, not all things directly serve one of those other goals, but mainly match this main purpose.

• Went to LEDpulse’s Organysmo concert/art-experience
  • I didn’t know what to expect, but the premise of LED matrices forming pillars and cages which pulse to the music of the concert and performances sounded intriguing enough already
  • This concert came with a 24 page PDF to explain the lore behind the various installations and the different chapters of the show
  • It was really stunning to see what they, us humans, have been able to create. The very hyper-specific experience they crafted for this evening!
• Went to see a play (with English sub-supertitles projected above the stage)

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Even though it already feels long gone, February has been a great month! Cannot wait to see how March is going to unfold!