Objectively, Paris 3 has been really good. I’ve learned lots of new things1, had new experiences2, great conversations that increased internal trust in others and being emotionally open to them, met new people, forged new bonds and reinforced existing ones, did work trials and had another job interview, as well as getting work done (e.g. at the Paris AI Safety Office) and drafting more writing3, and enjoying life4.
Yet, I cannot help but feel dissatisfied in some ways. I’m on my growth path right now and would have liked to have gotten more out of it my time here; I’m craving momentum and even a loss in acceleration feels like falling behind and failing myself. There were more things I aspired to do yet failed to. People I wanted to spend more time with, adventures to go on, more focused time on writing, reflection, and swork. Going to Cab’ and the ~best ramen place(s) in Paris again w a friend.
Whilst I was sick twice and tried a low FODMAP diet to deal w digestive issues, both of which made some things harder and zapped motivation, I still want more!
MOAR! But how to get there?
What I liked about my times in Paris is that cool places to be were easily accessible (short travel times), I liked being in those places and felt comfortable and I was there w good friends. Or have people come over to the place I was staying at. This was great. So: find more people in Berlin I want to hang out w about as much as w those in Paris, find cool places to hang out at, organize more things again, live w the cost of higher travel times for now until I move somewhere else. And increase willingness to and comfort w spending money on social things5.
Also, whilst my drive for productivity is high enough as that even during unstructured stretches of time I still do things, they massively decrease how effectively I do so. Too much idle back-and-forth between different stuff and pushing off more difficult things in favour of stuff I care less about. I want to get better at dealing w reduced structure. However, the primary way out of issue that I can see is to create structure. To plan things, so that I’m forced away from the default of idling at my laptop all day.
Footnotes
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most salient are some basics in shibari and lots in AI Safety (see AI Safety upskilling plan), but also Claude Coded Nova Reader (I didn’t like the existing RSVP reader options I could find), it started as just a browser plugin but now is also a PWA ↩
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e.g. going to Terminally Online 4 / hypercore and kissing w a Hatsune Miku girl, as well as two road trips to Belgium, crying a lot and emotionally processing things in new, novel ways. For more details, see March ↩
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e.g. Veganism & Girl Supply, Girl Supply II – Effective Giving, Society of Nobles ↩
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hanging out and cuddling w friends and partners, going on adventures and roadtrips, playing MtG, Wingspan, and Slay the Spire, having good food, and being in new, cool environments ↩
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in fact, I will implement an inverse budget: spend at least X€/month on social occasions ↩